For as long as I can remember I’ve had anxiety. And as I was growing up that was just seen as me being shy. I wasn’t treated for it until I was in college and made the effort to seek help. I thought meds would make me feel like a different person or take away an aspect of my personality. Obviously, yes it did make me feel different, but for me it did in a great way. I’m able to feel relaxed being myself and not be as worried that people will find me annoying or difficult to talk to.
Socializing has always been kind of difficult. I wanted so much to be accepted by my peers that I’d be too anxious and not want to go out of my house. Even today, it’s a bit of a struggle, but it’s very normal to me now.
No matter how shitty (pun intended) life gets, I know I am who I am today because of my past experiences and I’m so thankful for that.
Having Crohn’s disease doesn’t help with the anxiety. Crohn’s is a chronic inflammatory disease that mainly affects the intestines but can affect your entire gastrointestinal tract. Now I not only have regular life to worry about, but also worry about whether my body will force me to stop living my life until it’s under control again. No matter how shitty (pun intended) life gets, I know I am who I am today because of my past experiences and I’m so thankful for that.